Billy Joel Survived Two Suicide Attempts Following Affair with Bandmate’s Wife

In a gripping new documentary titled “Billy Joel: And So It Goes,” the renowned musician reveals the harrowing struggles he faced during his early career, including battles with severe depression and two near-fatal suicide attempts. Joel, who is currently managing a brain disorder, opens up about the deeply personal and tumultuous experiences that almost silenced his music permanently. The documentary premiered recently at the Tribeca Film Festival, shedding light on Joel’s emotional journey and the impact of his relationships on his mental health.

A Tumultuous Start: The Band and Personal Life

In the early 1970s, Billy Joel was a rising star in the music scene, carving his path as the frontman of a small band called Attila alongside his close friend, Jon Small. At the time, Joel had moved in with Small and his family, including Small’s wife, Elizabeth Weber, and their son. This close-knit living arrangement marked the beginning of a complicated emotional landscape that would soon unravel.

Joel’s life at that point reflected the aspirations of many young artists chasing fame and fortune. Yet, beneath the surface of this budding career lay a brewing storm, driven by Joel’s complex emotional connections with the people around him. Attila operated as more than just a band; it was a friendship between men who were deeply entwined in each other’s lives, both personally and professionally.

The Affair That Changed Everything

As revealed in the documentary, Joel developed romantic feelings for Weber, leading to an affair that would change the dynamics of their relationships irrevocably. Weber spoke candidly about the slow build of their friendship, saying it blossomed into something deeper over time. Joel’s admission of love for Weber, however, came with devastating consequences.

The affair not only strained Joel’s friendship with Small; it also led to the dissolution of Attila. The guilt stemming from his actions consumed Joel, who described the emotional turmoil he experienced as almost psychotic. This unraveling of personal relationships contributed significantly to a decline in his mental health, setting the stage for dramatic events to unfold.

The Descent into Darkness

Following the fallout from the affair, Joel’s life took a dark turn. Consumed by guilt and depression, he experienced a spiral of despair that left him feeling lost and homeless, often resorting to sleeping in laundromats. His emotional pain pushed him to contemplate suicide not just once, but twice.

In the documentary, Joel articulately shares his struggles, saying, “That’s it. I don’t want to live anymore.” His mental state deteriorated to the point where he felt there was no way out. This inner turmoil ultimately led him to attempt suicide, resulting in a coma that alarmed his family and friends. Joel’s sister described the harrowing moment when she thought he might not survive, a haunting reminder of the severity of his struggle.

The Turning Point: Recovery and Music

Miraculously, Joel survived both suicide attempts, aided by his friend Small, who rushed him to the hospital. Upon waking up from his coma, one of Joel’s first thoughts was a grim resolve to try again. However, it was during his second hospitalization that he began a journey toward recovery, including an admission into an observation ward, where he confronted his demons.

During this pivotal time, Joel began to reflect on his emotions and realized that he could channel his pain into music. This transformative experience allowed him to harness his feelings and use them as creative fuel, marking a defining moment in his career. After being released, Joel found himself ready to not only reclaim his lost passion but also to grow significantly as an artist.

Reflections on Forgiveness and Healing

After overcoming these life-threatening challenges, Joel reconnected with Weber, eventually marrying her in the years following their affair. Years later, Joel shares that he feels a deep sense of gratitude toward Small for saving his life, even amidst the fallout from their friendship. Small himself has expressed forgiveness, highlighting the complexity of their relationship and how the experience shaped them both.

Joel’s journey underscores the importance of mental health awareness, particularly for individuals confronting inner battles that remain hidden beneath the surface. The documentary serves not only as a window into his life but also as a reminder of the strength found in vulnerability and the healing that can follow even the darkest chapters.

Summary

Billy Joel’s documentary offers an intimate glimpse into the complexities of his life, revealing how personal struggles and relationships shaped his journey. It emphasizes the importance of mental health and advocates for seeking help during tough times. Joel’s eventual transformation through music serves as an inspiring narrative of recovery, forgiveness, and the resilience of the human spirit.

Frequently Asked Questions

Question: What prompted Billy Joel to share his story now?

Joel’s decision to open up comes as he battles a brain disorder and reflects on his past struggles, hoping to provide insight and encourage others facing similar challenges.

Question: How did Joel’s friendships impact his mental health?

Joel’s close relationships, particularly his affair with Elizabeth Weber, contributed significantly to his emotional turmoil, ultimately impacting both his personal and professional life.

Question: What lessons does Joel hope to impart through his documentary?

The documentary aims to raise awareness around mental health issues and emphasizes the importance of seeking help and finding outlets for emotional pain, such as music and creative expression.